Please don't endorse me ... too late

Leave it to retired porn star Jenna Jameson to clarify what this year's election is all about. While at a San Francisco strip club, Jameson announced her endorsement of Mitt Romney for president.

"I'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office," she said. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office."

Jameson, 38, is the wealthiest (and arguably the most famous) porn star in the world, with a net worth of $30 million.

And while she may do better under Romney's tax plan that's alleged to favor the wealthy, she may want to rethink her endorsement on First Amendment grounds: If elected, Romney plans to vigorously combat online pornography.

But then, Barack Obama promised to close Guantanamo, so your porn is probably safe.

Papa has quite a house

After Obama's health care law takes full effect, the slogan for national pizza chain Papa John's may need an update. Instead of "Better ingredients, better pizza," may we suggest "Better health care, pricier pizza"?

Under the Affordable Care Act, the company -- which is the third-largest pizza takeout and delivery chain in the United States -- will have to offer health care coverage to more of its employees or pay a penalty to the government.

Papa John's CEO John Schnatter is warning that Obamacare will result in a price increase of 11 to 14 cents per pizza.

Schnatter, it should be noted, hosted a fundraiser for Mitt Romney at his Louisville, Ky. area mansion in May.

"Don't you love this country?" asked Romney during the event. "What a home this is, what grounds these are, the pool, the golf course."

Apparently, there's a lot of dough in pizza. And now there's going to be even more.

Do we really need this much peace and freedom?

Actress Roseanne Barr is continuing her bid for the White House after clinching the presidential nomination of the Peace and Freedom Party.

She has joined forces with Peace and Freedom Party member and anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, who will be her vice presidential running mate.

A message posted on her Roseanne Barr for President website reads, "She is the lone voice of courage and reason who is unstoppable as she holds corporate-funded politicians feet to the fire."

If Roseanne is the voice of reason, then the Boston Strangler gives great neck massages.

Romney Hood

During a recent fundraiser, President Barack Obama took another swing at his Republican rival's tax plan.

"He'd ask the middle class to pay more taxes so that he could give another $250,000 tax cut to people making more than $3 million a year," Obama said. "It's like Robin Hood in reverse. It's Romney Hood!"

Obama was referring to the recent study by the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center, which found that Romney's push for additional tax cuts -- while keeping these tax cuts revenue-neutral -- would still result in tax increases on the middle class.

That is, if there were a middle class anymore.