Change isn't gonna come
The Treasury Department said Saturday that it will not mint a trillion-dollar platinum coin to head off an imminent battle with Congress over raising the government's borrowing limit.
"Neither the Treasury Department nor the Federal Reserve believes that the law can or should be used to facilitate the production of platinum coins for the purpose of avoiding an increase in the debt limit," Anthony Coley, a Treasury spokesman, said in a written statement.
The Obama administration has indicated that the only way for the country to avoid a cash management crisis as soon as next month is for Congress to raise the "debt ceiling," which is the statutory limit on government borrowing. The cap is $16.4 trillion.
In October, Donald Trump offered $5 million to charity if Obama released his college and passport records. Presidential candidates typically have left such records private.
Comic and Obama loyalist Bill Maher responded with a $5 million offer for charity if Trump, he of the odd and orangish hair, demonstrated he was not the spawn of an ape.
Trump is now hinting he might sue for the money after responding about his parentage.
Wrote his lawyer: "Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump's birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan. Please remit the $5 million to Mr. Trump immediately."
White House shade of pale
Mediaite has called Obama's strikingly not-diverse circle of top advisers the president's "binder full of white dudes."
The chattering classes have busied themselves in wondering aloud why the country's first president of color has so filled his second-term inner circle with white men.
Rep. Charlie Rangel, a New York Democrat, called it "embarrassing as hell." Salon.com editor Joan Walsh blamed Republicans, saying their rejection of United Nations ambassador Susan Rice -- who is African-American -- played a role. Former Arkansas governor and current talk show host Mike Huckabee found it rich that a re-election campaign geared so much to women voters led to a second term with so many Y chromosomes in the top ranks.
"How come," Huckabee asked, "there is so much testosterone in the Obama Cabinet and so little estrogen?"
Second Amendment citizens
Said '70s rocker and lock-and-loader Ted Nugent: "There will come a time when the gun owners of America, the law-abiding gun owners of America, will be the Rosa Parks, and we will sit down on the front seat of the bus, case closed."
Pass the ammo
Said late-night basic-cable comic Stephen Colbert: "Dear Leader Obama is more determined than ever 2 take away our guns -- in that he has never tried to take away our guns."
Comic Dennis Miller on Congress: "Out of the 535 up there, there's probably 35 good, principled, smart people who you look up at and aspire to. The rest of them weren't smart enough, weren't good enough in sports and hadn't mastered a musical instrument. To be in Congress was their last chance of having sex."
Molly Ball of The Atlantic tweets: "Everybody just hates everybody. Congress, baseball players, whoever. America needs some alone time."